So, if you listen to my Sirius XM radio show, Dirty Sexy Funny, on channel 109, you may have heard me reading a list of costumes that are trending this year. It was hilarious and I am the first to admit that I was shocked when I found out my producer David wrote it! Since he finally did something right, I figured I should share it with all of you here on my blog. Good job, David.
According to Google Trends there will be a lot of:
The naughty girlfriend of The Joker, trending UP, especially with Suicide Squad hitting theatres in AUGUST OF 2000-fucking-16
Anything Star Wars
The Force Awakens comes out December 18th, so expect see lots of Jedi’s this Halloween. Congratulations for being original! You can’t use the Force to get a personality.
They’re beginning to trend DOWN this season. Maybe we’ve finally had enough of Pirates of the CARA-be-in or Ca-RIBB-ee-an. Finally.
Beginning to trend down after the monumental success of Christian Bale’s Batman movies, it could see a resurgence in 2016 when Ben Affleck plays Batman on the big screen. Batman’s always cool though, this should be #1.
Oh, shocking. Someone’s going to dress up as a witch on Halloween. Great. People will tell you how cutting edge your costume is. Enjoy washing your sheets 10 times to get all the green makeup off over the weekend!
The only time anybody should dress as a Minion is if they’re going to a kid’s party.
Trending UP with Jared Leto playing the bad guy in the new Suicide Squad movie, there’s nothing funny about how popular The Joker will be this Halloween! LOL! I need to eat.
If you’re going to be Wonder Woman, go with BLACK hair. Get a wig. Wonder Woman with red hair just looks like you gave up so close to the end. Finish it.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This is a great group costume, but if you roll solo as a Ninja Turtle you’re just showing off how lonely you are. And you’ll have to tell everyone what a loser you are when they ask where the other three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are.
This is extremely low effort because every girl thinks they’re a princess already. MIND. BLOWN.
Trending UP. How are you going to walk with fins? Don’t wear a long sleeve shirt when you dress as a Mermaid either. Show some skin. Even if it’s cold where you are. Don’t half-ass it.
Not sure how to incorporate skintight black latex into your Halloween! Here’s the answer! It’s a great ice breaker, especially when you want to pick up guys! They’ll think you’re wicked hot shit if you tell them about how much you love your cats and how they have unique personalities!
They’re trending UP this year. After an overdose of vampires, True Blood is off the air and this is like the Vampire hangover. Really it’s the easiest, laziest costume there is. Get some fake teeth, a little fake blood (or real blood if you can get it), make some teeth marks on your neck and you’re golden. Especially if you lost your summer tan already.
Don’t go as Maleficent because nobody has any idea how to pronounce that shit and people are just going to think you’re high maintenance. Dial it down. No guy is going to call or text the next day if you wear a Maleficent outfit because they think you’re batshit crazy. #truth
FUCK. YEAH. Everyone likes dinosaurs. Except for the people that ‘died’ in Jurassic Park. But they were fake, so whatever.
Go as a clown if you’re tired of sex and really don’t want to hook up. If you just want to go out with your friends and you’re tired of getting it on, this is the outfit for you. Go as a clown. Congratulations.
Dolls are trending up? What the fuck. Who’s dressing as a doll for Halloween? That’s fucking weird. Seriously. Don’t creep people out. Unless you’re really fascinated by sex dolls. Then this is your chance to talk about sex dolls to people without coming across as severely damaged emotionally.
Girls, if you want free drinks all night and your choice of dick at the end of the night, then go as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi when she’s chained to Jabba The Hutt. For REAL. Do it. Please. Embrace it.